Rab C. Nesbitt

My Hero

My Hero

"Savage rhetoric from Scotland's string-vested, beer-guzzling sage."

That's what the BBC has to say about my new favourite television show, "Rab C. Nesbitt."

Once upon a time, we were watching tv and Neil asked me if I wanted to watch something funny. Remembering what people think is funny over here, I was reluctant at first, but always searching for a good laugh. Then he told me "it's Scottish", so I was ready for it! He turned on BBC2 and we started to watch the beginning of the program. I think he was watching me for a reaction. When they started talking, I couldn't understand much of it and had to put the subtitles on from Teletext to understand some of the words. Within seconds I was laughing out loud.

So where have they been hiding the REAL comedy around here??? They think old English men in suits are funny??? I think not. THIS is real comedy. Let me tell you what it's about.

Right around Glasgow somewhere is a place called Govan. This is an interesting area from what I hear. Here we find our Rab, and his lovely wife Mary. Rab is not what you would call a slave to fashion. He is always sporting a lovely blue pin-striped suit, tastefully torn on the right shoulder. Under that he wears a fish-net vest, or tank-top to us Americans. The whole ensemble is topped off with a stunning headband that looks like the elastic band from a pair of y-fronts from the 60's. I don't believe any of it has been cleaned since then. Or Rab, for that matter. He likes that casual look, and will go for days on end without shaving. Rab has quite a way with words, and usually has some words of wisdom for his friends and family. He does like his drink. Rab can be found at Norrie's pub almost all the time, having a "swally". He even has his very own pint glass that they all know as "The Wasting Glass".

Anyway, Rab's wife Mary is a lovely woman. Although she sometimes has the appearance of a hair experiment gone wrong, she is the backbone of the family. Rab lovingly refers to her as "Mary Doll". They have one son named Gash, and Rab's nephew Screech lives with them, although I have no idea why. (I have missed many earlier programs) Screech (David MacKay) was in Braveheart. But that doesn't matter right now. When he is bad, he is banished to the cupboard, which, he says is too small and he can't fold up like he used to.

Rab has some friends at the pub. There is Norrie the owner, Andra, (who was also in "Hamish MacBeth") Dodie, who has the brains of a man with not many brains, and the unforgettable (no matter how hard they try) Jamsie Cotter. Jamsie is always up to something and, although he is married, has a constant string of young girls chasing him, for a short while anyway. Jamsie's wife is Ella. She is a very wise woman, and, like Rab, no slave to fashion. She can be seen in her stunning faux leopard coat, huge sun-flower pin, and blue eyeshadow. Once she and Mary got drunk together to forget their problems and woke up with hickies on their necks and realised they had a lesbian fling the night before. I like to think of Ella as a Scottish version of Peg Bundy.

I'm not sure if any of them work. When Rab decided to give up the drink, he went fishing in the Clyde with a stick, a ball of string and some clothes pegs. He caught an empty bottle. Poor Rab. Gash got so bored he was ready to fling himself into the Clyde. Screech just watches the telly and Mary does everything else.

I wanted to share some pictures of the Nesbitt family with you, but all I have at the moment are some rare old classics of the Nesbitts and their friends. Black and white, by the way. I'll add more as I find them. These were the old days when Mary was wearing a lovely wig all the time and Rab had a different headband. I suspect the last one just rotted and fell off.

The happy couple

Here is a lovely picture of Rab waking up in the morning, bright and early with a fresh new day ahead of him.

Here's one of Rab having a friendly chat with a nice police officer.

The thing that really appeals to me is that they deal with real issues of life, but with a very funny sense of humour. Once Rab left Mary for another woman, but that didn't last long. Mary threatened Rab with divorce if he didn't give up the drink. You get the idea. Rab always seems to make sense of the situation, no matter how odd.

Well, this is all I have for now, but my research continues. I am hunting for more pictures of Rab and his family. I will add more as time wears merrily along. So, for now, in the words of Rab C. Nesbitt....