"Who is your best friend?" Remember when we used to ask that of each other as children? We always hoped to be the one. Many times in my life I would say "so and so is my best friend." But, as the years go by we change, grow apart, and our best friends get lost in the shuffle. Sometimes we never see them again. Sometimes we don't want to. Sometimes we wonder why we ever were friends with them at all.

So, we start to think about which of these friends were real friends. After moving to the UK I have done a lot of thinking about my old friends that I will never see again. One is an alcoholic. One gets beat up all the time by her husband. One lives in a fantasy world because she can't handle reality. It's strange where our paths lead us. But after all the years and all the changes we make in our lives, if there is one left, I think that person deserves the title of best friend.

Let's make this clear, for those who know me can tell you, I am not an easy person to get along with. Even less now that I have moved and don't take any garbage from other people. But there is one person who understands me. My best friend. We will call her Zanny.

I haven't known her from childhood, although there are a very strange bunch of coincidenses that surround us. My mother and her grandmother worked together, had the same maiden name (odd spelling) and called each other cousin. We never knew that until after we had known each other for over a year. My mother remembers when she was born. In the relatively short period of time we have known each other, (about 7 years before I moved to the UK) we have learned a lot about each other and have accepted each other as we are. She is very understanding and a genuinely good person to her soul.

I could list all the things she has done for me, but it would be an on-going list that would never end. I think the most important would be that she makes me laugh! Until I cry and can't breathe! I love that the most about her. I will give you an example of what sort of things she would do....

When I had major surgery on my leg and was left with the use of only one leg for several months, we spoke on the phone and she heard that I was having problems. Where was my family? Where was my friend who had a car and could have checked up on me? Obviously it didn't matter. I was out of commission and not able to go out with them and therefore out of the picture temporarily. So, my best friend got a friend of hers to bring her all the way across town on a Harley (a very long way) to bring me some food, make up a bunch of food that would be easy for me to get to, put all the things I needed around me so I wouldn't have to get up, and then rushed back home because she had someone watching her kids. She was a blur running around the house. She was like an angel who flew into my door and made me comfortable. She didn't have to do that... but that is what a best friend does.

I miss her so much. We talk to each other on the computer but sometimes the words get confused because you can't hear how they were meant to be said. Sometimes we call each other. Sometimes we NEED to hear each other's voice.

Zanny, if there is ever anything I can do for you, you know I am here for you. I always will be.

To the people reading this, if you ever end up with a friend like Zanny, consider yourself lucky. They are few and far between. I found my best friend. I just wish she wasn't so far away.

I love you Fessy!!!

Zanny came over to visit in 1999. I can't wait to see my friend again and might get another chance soon. When my best friend came to visit me here it was so good to see her after so many years. We had a great time. The hardest part was watching her leave. I'm glad she got to come over and see part of the world, but I miss her so still.

Here's my friend in London.
THE best friend in the world.

You can find her web site here.